“A picture I can connect  with..”

 

Facing a warm sunset, I portrayed a beautiful picture of us with my closed eyes. Every string of my heart played a song of harmony in the background like it was writing poetry of our special moments. It was started with the same word of friendship like the beginning of every story. Sometimes, I wonder why it was so easy for me to move on from the reflection of my haunted past? Why only the aroma of your affection kept on lowering the foul smell of my past which came from the west? Too many queries attacked my mind in expectation of one answer, only one answer which my heart always wanted to listen up. My story started filling up with a cluster of heartiest moments to remember. I actually never realized when I gave up on my commitment- ‘to stay away with a bubble of feelings’.

Our intimacy of love has just crossed the boundary of diverse religion and rooted the bond strongly & suddenly, you interrupted. Curious heart of mine lifted its ears to hear which held on for so long those 3 kind words but your interruption turned my world for a few minutes. How was it justified?  Why I couldn’t saw the twisted pattern which was transparent to everyone else accept me; covered in the layer by layer of the unknown junction of love I reached in a midway? The shoot of queries like a virus once again targeted not only my mind but on to my soul as well. Days passed on. No calls, no text. Hoping to see him again or to forget him ever the decision was so diplomatic. But time flew away.

Before I could have come to the conclusion, we met! “Hello”(an awkward one) I heard him again with a super energy inside. The boy I knew before was my lover or got infatuated seeing an Indian doll desired by every man in the society. The surprise I got when he denoted me as his “special friend” attached terms and conditions applied (like no more hugs, no long hour callings, no private meeting) on it. Cunning smile, a big fat heart narrated the story was a lie, a mistake done by 2 of realistic fools “you and me” bounded in the cage of different religions who mistakenly crossed the limit of religion in the heat of intimacy.  Forget, Forgive and let’s began again. So, simply it ended. Cheers, the group shouted loud. We all got re-united with a celebration of my birthday where I as the chump blew a candle of wish- not to make a wish again, cut the delicious heart cake popping me inside- not to love again. Ocean of teary eyes gave the world’s most beautiful and attractive smile. 

Nobody heard this poor heart screamed loud in the pain. The penalty was paid off with a flood of invisible tears where my pillow was only the witness. Periodically, it comes in my habit and I learnt the magical things which work to defense me, myself and my feelings, of course, that was a beautiful smile I got from my father’s gene. ‘Father’s Gene’ echo of the word was so loud that I heard it wrong but in the right way that is- Father’s Genie which compelled me in every way to defend my smile & not to my feelings. Every humanoid has a cloud of feeling in their blood. So am I, a human with a chip of mixed feelings already fed inside. “Daddy’s Girl” learnt the first slogan of the language of love that was- Self Love! 

This was absolutely not the end of the story but it was the beginning of unconditional love for myself. The story just held on sideways somewhere. The belief on almighty of Love was so strong that if not him then from someone somewhere my eardrums will definitely get to listen to those 3 kind words with respect for me and my love which held on for so long. Too many goodbyes finally waved him a final goodbye hoping him to value the time, the moment, & the feeling we spent & shared together. 

Suddenly, the cold waves knocked my feet & I welcomed back myself with the beautiful evening with my sparkling eyes projecting the beautiful picture of us on the shiny stars and big round moon. In the great loss of love, this hidden picture was the one which didn’t get lost in between. The part he played will always be alive in me. Language of Love whispered slowly- Everything is justified in love not to hurt but a lesson of devotion to learning which always sharpens the mankind, the soul inside you.  Believe in you, believe in love & Just Hold On!!

 

 

 

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