The Real You

One day the Vice President of our Pharmaceutical MNC called me to his office.
He smiled as I asked to come in, then he offered me a chair to sit down.
He said, “What is this Chetna?”(showing me a piece of paper which was my resignation letter). Auditor was very impressed with your performance during this crucial audit and in a few months you are going to have a new position/cubicle with lovely increment.
Tell me what’s the actual reason behind this decision?”
I said, “I am planning to have a baby.”
He laughed loudly and said what? Are you serious? Who quits the job for that? You are so much talented and company will provide you 6 months of paid maternity leaves. Also, we are opening a creche in our campus at the end of this month according to section 48 of Factories Act 1948-Creches. I was speechless and decided to leave the room with a smile.
He said, “ok then! complete your notice period but I am not accepting this letter and it will remain in my drawer for upcoming one month. Maybe you’ll change your decision. I hope so!
To choose your carrier or baby; it’s been the most common type of situation any mother would have gone through but that was totally different what I was dealing with. I was not pregnant at all. I was planning for a happy pregnancy in advance!
When after 2 years of our marriage, 5 years of commitment and 10 years of friendship; we decided to get pregnant, the very first thing came into my mind was that beautiful pregnancy phase which was all in my imaginations will now could actually happen.
Then, I imagined my pregnancy with my job and I was not comfortable even in my thoughts! Standard testing procedures didn’t allow sitting facilities in the laboratory.The low temperature labs, early morning shifts, flirting old aged colleagues, Sunday working, month end pressures, and the conditions of fellow pregnant ladies in front of my eyes.
Unconsciously I took the first step of conscious parenting even before getting pregnant that is listen to yourself, become free from all the standard hypothetical social pressures, fears and the restrictions you put in front of yourselves to be count as worth being a person. I felt free and authentic.
At present walls of my home are beautifully painted with crayons, wet biscuits & chocolates. My balcony’s floor is so messy with the soil of planted pots. My kitchen jars are always arranged as a tower in the living room. He used to climb on my back and stand on my shoulders without any support because the knows he is allowed to fall in my lap. He loves throwing utensils & toys as it creates so much noise which make him happy while we think for excuses to give complaining neighbours patiently. I set him free to feel what’s right and what’s wrong definition version for himself about the world because it’s his world not mine!
Happiness and success are found in being who you truly are.
am I conscious about parenting? I ask myself and evolve everyday a bit more.
Most of us grew up with unconscious parent. Instead of finding ourselves, we were pushed to meet their unfulfilled expectations, fantasies and dreams. When it comes to parent our children, the first & most significant step is for us, the parent, to find and honour our own authentic voice. Only then we could accept & cherish our children’s most authentic self.
It is their birth right and it is ours as well.